All Posts Tagged: palm beach county

educator teaching virtual classes

Distance Learning Tips For Parents

As the pandemic lingers, life as we used to know it continues to elude us. One of the most significant adjustments has required children (and parents) to adapt to the challenges of virtual learning. While we’ve become more adept at navigating through online studies by now, one of the things that kids still miss most in remote schooling is the academic and social enrichment that being in a classroom provides.

Remote learning can be difficult for kids in many ways:

  • They aren’t in a classroom where everyone is doing the same thing
  • They may not feel like they belong to a group
  • There may not be a rigid structure to their learning time like there is in a classroom
  • They may not feel supported by teachers who aren’t physically present.
  • They may not feel motivated to learn or complete coursework

Let’s face it, virtual learning can be tough for kids. In many ways, they have had to take on some aspects of their own education that they wouldn’t normally, despite the presence of an online educator.

How Can Parents Support Learning At Home?

One silver lining of remote learning during the pandemic is that kids can and will pick up new skills in a virtual environment. I am certain that while your child may have struggled with online learning at first, they are now pros at working with virtual platforms.  They are probably a little more independent, as well.

Although they have gained new skills, they may still be challenged by other concepts, though. For example, it can be difficult for kids to avoid the distractions that come with learning at home. Siblings, toys, and social media are all close at hand, competing to draw their attention away from their schooling.

For that reason, try to set aside a quiet space in your home that is just for your child’s education. This is their “classroom,” so to speak, so it needs to be a place with good internet or wifi access. Despite distractions, however, don’t close it off, as an adult needs to be able to monitor what the child is doing (and seeing online).

Be sure to check in with your child’s teachers regularly. This way, your child won’t fall behind on coursework and you can help them stay on track. You can also quickly address any negative patterns they may be developing, such as not turning in homework on time.

Keep in mind that kids need exercise and play time to stimulate their minds and release pent-up energy. If possible, encourage your family to take a walk after dinner. Or visit a nearby park, play board games together, or start a hobby that you can take part in together. This also helps children find balance between screen time and real world experiences.

Lastly, encourage your children to maintain contact with friends, but monitor their social interactions. Moving through a cyber world can make people feel anonymous, which can lead to kids bullying others or becoming the target of a virtual bully themselves.

Helping Kids Cope During The Pandemic

In addition to school related support, parents can provide other ways of helping kids cope during the pandemic:

Provide structure – Structure can make kids feel more in control because they know what to expect and when. If you have a smart device in your home, such as Google Home or Alexa, try using it to set reminder times for your child. For example, it can alert them that it’s time to logon to classes, time to do (or turn in) homework, time to get ready for bed, etc.

Also, keeping to the same eating, sleeping, and playtime schedules fosters a sense of security in both kids and adults.

Stay positive – Even if you are very worried about the pandemic or aspects of it, try to refrain from “what if” thinking. You may not realize it, but kids can pick up on their parent’s fears through their tone of voice and their body language, so do your best to stay calm and be reassuring to your kids.

Keep an eye out for changes – During the pandemic, watch for signs that your child is anxious or depressed. Let them know that you are open to discussing their fears or worries. Ask them how they are doing or if they are concerned about anything at school.

Have their sleeping habits changed? Are they not eating well? Do they have frequent headaches or stomach problems? Do they seem newly irritable or withdrawn? These are all signs of anxiety and stress that need to be addressed.

It can help to have kids “draw their feelings” on paper or express them through play. Such activities open the door for discussion and allow a child to let you how they are feeling even if they don’t know how to communicate it to you.

Take care of yourself – Lastly, be sure to support your own emotional and mental health. Many parents have lost jobs and are struggling financially. Some have found their own anxiety levels have increased for other reasons. The interruption of our normal lives and reduced social connections have led to depression in still other parents.

It can help to keep in contact with family and friends virtually. Also, try to get outside for both exercise and as a distraction. Meditate, use deep breathing exercises to help calm your thoughts, and try to limit sensationalized news coverage as much as possible.

If you notice significant changes to your or your child’s eating or sleep patterns, physical complaints, irritability or aggression, or withdrawal from the things you or they normally enjoy, it’s time to consider calling a professional.

We Are Here For You

If you are experiencing anxiety or depression due to the ongoing pandemic, we are here to help. Contact The Center for Treatment of Anxiety and Mood Disorders in Delray Beach, Florida or call us at 561-496-1094 today.

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sad woman looking out the window

Pandemic Fatigue: How To Stay Mentally Healthy In The Covid Era

As 2020 draws to a close, many of us are experiencing pandemic fatigue. We’re all tired of wearing masks and social distancing. Most of us just want to go back to traveling, enjoying time with family and friends, and the normal world we used to know. This is the time when it is so important for our mental health that we keep a positive outlook and not allow boredom and pessimism to creep in.

Often, when we get closer to the end of a trying period in our lives, there is the temptation to give up. After all, going through long stretches of a challenge can make it seem as if we are not making progress. In the case of the pandemic, isolation from our friends and family coupled with fear of getting sick and concern for loved ones just adds to our anxiety and stress.

Signs Of Pandemic Fatigue

Our emotions have been running on high alert for months now. Living under this elevated level of awareness without a break means we’re always in fight-or-flight made, resulting in pandemic fatigue.

Signs of pandemic fatigue can take several forms, including:

  • No motivation
  • Feeling hopeless
  • Not sleeping well or sleeping too much
  • Feeling irritable or on edge
  • Overindulging in unhealthy foods or skipping meals altogether
  • Substance abuse or increased use of alcohol, recreational drugs, etc.

What Can I Do To Feel Better If I Am Anxious And Scared About Covid-19?

If you feel like you are constantly on edge or overly worried about the pandemic, know that you are not alone. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that, “Symptoms of anxiety disorder and depressive disorder increased considerably in the United States during April–June of 2020, compared with the same period in 2019.”

This pandemic has not only brought disease to our front doors, it has given us other things to cope with, as well. Many of us are dealing with job loss and/or grieving the loss of loved ones. We may have new or worsening relationship challenges or financial concerns. Dealing with a pandemic is one thing, but adding these other stressors makes it much more difficult to cope. Be kind to yourself during this time.

One of the most helpful things you can do is to disconnect or limit your social media feeds and news reports. The constant news coverage of death tolls and illness can be demoralizing and social media posts can drive those fears to new levels. It’s enough to make us despair of ever getting our old lives back.

We recommend that you set a time limit for watching the news or reading news stories. In addition, set a goal that you’ll only check them once a day.

Likewise, we suggest backing off on your social media time and limiting your interaction to once a day for a reasonable amount of time. You may feel more anxious at first due to fear of missing out, but stick with it and you’ll soon see the positive results.

Another important thing to do is to stay connected to loved ones and friends, particularly those whom you trust with your concerns. Video chats and phone calls can help reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness. They can also be great distractions.

Set a routine. Keeping to schedule sounds boring, but the structure it provides can help keep us from sliding further into our fears and depression. For example, if you maintain a meal schedule, you are less likely to skip a meal, which can add to your depression.

Try to distract yourself. Activities like meditation, mindfulness, and other relaxation techniques or writing in a gratitude journal can help to keep negative thoughts at bay. Likewise, scheduling time to exercise or get outdoors will contribute to positive emotions.

Now is a great time to learn a new skill, start a new hobby (or work on a current one) or take up a musical instrument. Indulging in something you enjoy takes you out of fear-based thoughts and provides a more meaningful outlook.

Covid Era Depression? We Are Here For You

If you are experiencing pandemic fatigue and covid-era depression, we are here to help. Contact The Center for Treatment of Anxiety and Mood Disorders in Delray Beach, Florida at 561-496-1094 or email Dr. Andrew Rosen and The Center today.

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book cover for Hope for OCD: One Man’s Story of Living and Thriving With Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Hope for OCD: One Man’s Story of Living and Thriving With Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Millions of Americans go through each day tormented by the uncontrollable thoughts (obsessions) and compulsive rituals and behaviors that characterize OCD. Difficult to understand and even harder to experience, Hope for OCD – One Person’s Story of Living and Thriving with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a profoundly courageous inside look at navigating life with the challenges of this anxiety disorder.

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hands holding a smartphone with newspapers in the background

Is It Okay To Take A Break From The News?

The further we go through 2020, the crazier the year seems to get! The coronavirus pandemic is ramping up (again) and there are worries about more potential layoffs and job losses amid the new surge. Top these concerns off with the back-and-forth sniping over the presidential election’s disputed results and many people have begun asking is it okay to take a break from the news?

You bet it is! In fact, we highly recommend it, particularly to those who have already been experiencing heightened stress and anxiety due to the pandemic.

Does Watching The News Cause Anxiety?

In a word, yes. While you may feel that tuning in to the latest headlines keeps you informed, in reality, doing so causes information overload. There’s even a term for it – headline stress disorder. Although not an actual medical term, the phrase was coined by psychologist Dr Steven Stosny to define the high emotional responses one has after viewing endless media reports.

You see, by checking in and reading (or watching) the gloom and doom headlines, we begin to feel as if the world is on a roller coaster we can’t escape from. One minute we hear there may be a vaccine forthcoming, the next we hear that it may not be as effective as we’d hoped. Or we hear that the election has been called by the media, then we hear that the results are suspect and a recount is happening.

This rise of hope, followed by having it taken away only increases our anxiety and the feeling that the world is out of control.

On top of that, for those who have obsessive compulsive disorder, this constant checking of headlines and news stories can become a new ritual. They feel better while scrutinizing the news, which can reduce their anxiety if nothing has changed over the course of the day. But, it also triggers a cycle of compulsive checking just to be sure there isn’t some new disaster lurking.

Psychological Effects Of The News

In a 2019 article by Hoog and Verboon, published in the British Journal Of Psychology, the authors pointed to several studies that showed a direct relationship between negative news exposure and negative emotional states.

They report that “After being exposed to negative news reports, positive affect decreased, whereas negative affect, sadness, worries, and anxiety increased. Other studies have found indirect effects on psychological distress and negative affect through an increase in stress levels and irrational beliefs.”

Although researchers aren’t sure exactly what is at play that causes adverse reactions like depression or anxiety after habitually viewing negative media stories, they theorize that it has a lot to do with personal relevance.

To support this, Hoog and Verboon, pointed to studies of people’s stress levels as they related to the 9/11 attacks and also the Boston Marathon bombings. In both cases, people’s anxiety and PTSD levels were actually higher four weeks after these incidents than they were immediately after the attacks.

This is likely because of personal relevance. The authors noted that “…people who are anxious or depressed are more likely to focus on negative information or information that corresponds with their mental state (Davey & Wells, 2006), which in turn only increases their anxiousness or depression.”

How Do You Deal With News Anxiety?

Here are some self-care tips that can help you reduce your anxiety by giving you a way to regain control:

First, stop watching news coverage and limit your time on social media. As we’ve discussed, when something grips us with fear, it is sometimes hard to break away from the catastrophic thoughts that come along with it. By endlessly checking headlines and reading social media posts about current events, you don’t give your mind a chance to gain some mental distance from it.

Also remember that news coverage is written in a way that makes us tense and concerned. A fearful headline makes us click on it – and it’s what keeps the reporters or news channels in business.

Do some stress reducing activities: Meditate, take a walk, sit on your patio in the sunshine, or try an online yoga class. Or take one of the endless online classes and virtual museum tours that have popped up during this time of social distancing. Being active lessens the stress hormone, cortisol, and also serves as a distraction.

Additionally, you might focus on doing something you’ve been meaning to do. Now is the time to get organized, clean out that cabinet, or try a new recipe or hobby. Staying active means your mind will be engaged by something pleasant, which will help to reframe negative emotions in a more positive way.

Therapy In A Safe Environment

Sometimes self-care is not enough to get relief from anxiety. If your symptoms seem to be getting worse or if you find that a couple of weeks have gone by and you are still feeling more anxious than you think you should about current events, you may have developed an anxiety disorder. In that case, it’s best to turn to a professional.

Often, just talking through your concerns may be enough to reduce them, however speaking to a therapist can benefit you in many other ways by helping you sort out your fears and allowing you to gain a new perspective.

If you are concerned about exposure to the coronavirus during therapy, most mental health practitioners now have tele therapy options available. With tele therapy, you can talk to your therapist from your home, so there is no need to go into the office.

We Are Here For You

To get more information and help for headline news anxiety, contact Dr. Andrew Rosen and The Center for Treatment of Anxiety and Mood Disorders in Delray Beach, Florida at 561-496-1094 or email Dr. Rosen and The Center today.

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symbols of USA politcal parties

How Election Anxiety Affects Children

While the country waits for the official results of the 2020 election, anxiety is mounting. In this unprecedented pandemic year, the highly contentious and now unresolved election has raised everyone’s stress levels. With the topic being on everyone’s mind, there is no doubt that this election anxiety has impacted the nation’s children, as well.

No matter which side of the debate you land on, it is likely that the election has been a topic of conversation in your home. Shortly before the election, the American Psychological Association (APA) conducted a “Stress in America” Harris poll designed to gauge stress levels.

The results showed that the majority of Americans (68 %, in fact) faced a significant amount of stress about the presidential race, and this stress was felt across party lines. How much the pandemic stress has contributed is unknown, but it is clear that the hotly debated and at times, nasty, election has affected many people.

Results Of Election Stress On Kids

With so many adults talking about the election unknowns, their distress and fear is trickling down to their children.

Young kids may not understand the implications of the votes, but they will pick up on their parent’s stress even when parents try to shield them.

Older children who understand the election process may have become victims of bullying as teens take sides. Those who haven’t been harassed have likely felt a sense of loss of control or may have gone through arguments with peers who fall on the opposite side politically.

How To Help Kids Cope With The 2020 Election Anxiety

The first thing to do when helping your child through both election stress and the pandemic anxiety that has dogged us this year is to give them a safe outlet for their fears. Let them know that it is normal to feel distress over things that are out of our control. Tell them it is okay to ask questions or to talk about their emotions.

The next thing to do is to limit everyone’s news coverage and social media exposure during troubling times. Binging on news reports about the election recounts or debates about the outcome only serves to keep emotions running high.

Instead, do something together as a family. Get out the family board games, work on holiday crafts, take a walk, visit a park, or engage your children in other activities that they enjoy. The point is to take care of yourself and your children’s mental health first.

The election can also become a life lesson if you teach your children to respect other’s opinions and political parties. Help them understand that it is okay if people have different beliefs because we all have come from different backgrounds and experiences. Tolerance for another viewpoint does not mean they have to agree with it.

In addition, when the winning candidate is officially declared, your reaction can also be a life lesson for your kids. Showing them how to be gracious if your candidate won or how to respectfully accept defeat and disappointment if they didn’t teaches kids how to work towards a kinder world going forward.

Helping Children With Anxiety

For more information about how our mental health professionals and child psychologists can help you or your child deal with election anxiety, contact the Children’s Center for Psychiatry Psychology and Related Services in Delray Beach, Florida or call us today at 561-496-1094.

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America’s germaphobes were ready for this — and have been for too long

America’s germaphobes were ready for this — and have been for too long

Health anxiety disorder is underreported, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, and possibly affects 12 percent of the nation’s population. (The group’s annual conference this week was nixed due to the coronavirus.) Those who suffer from the disorder are usually thought of as hypochondriacs or germaphobes.

The current alarm about the coronavirus could be hard on OCD sufferers, prompting them to overdo it even more than usual. However, some people with health anxiety may be coping better during the pandemic than individuals who aren’t used to worrying about sneezing and coughing and handshakes and other casual physical contact, says Andrew Rosen, who runs the Center for Treatment of Anxiety and Mood Disorders in Delray Beach, Fla.

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COVID-19 banner across an image of the world

How COVID-19 Fears Can Fuel General Anxiety Disorders

COVID-19 (coronavirus) has officially been declared a pandemic. Across the globe, people are being quarantined, cruise ships are being denied entrance to ports, and social gatherings have been curtailed. This has resulted in a stock market free fall and panic buying as people hoard food and products in case of their own quarantining.

As the count of infected people rises, the unrelenting news coverage can make anyone feel helpless. It brings up worry, stress, and fear. This is even truer for those who already suffer from anxiety and its related syndromes, such as generalized anxiety disorder.

Anxiety Disorder Symptoms

In the face of a pandemic, the fear and anxiety about possible exposure to the illness can take on a life of its own.

If you are already someone who is anxious, you might find that you are having headaches or stomach problems. You may begin to have trouble sleeping or eating, or can even have a panic attack. And, if you have generalized anxiety disorder, your worries and fears can rapidly become overwhelming.

Your normal anxiety levels might ramp up to the point that you:

  • Worry about the virus on an hourly or daily basis and often find yourself consumed by fears during your day.
  • Find that your fears are significantly disrupting your work, relationships, or daily activities.
  • Automatically envision the worst-case scenario for the pandemic.

Anxiety can also manifest as psychological symptoms, such as:

  • Insistent worrying or fixating about your fears
  • Being easily startled and feeling like you are constantly “on edge” or keyed up
  • Having trouble concentrating
  • Being irritable and continually on the edge of an argument with someone
  • Worrying that you are losing control

In addition to these psychological symptoms, there are physical symptoms of anxiety or generalized anxiety disorder. These can include:

  • A rapid heartbeat and/or shortness of breath
  • Insomnia and problems sleeping, which leaves you fatigued
  • Headaches or an increase in migraines
  • Nausea, sweating, muscle tension

Self Care For COVID-19-Related Anxiety

While it’s understandable to worry about catching COVID-19, you may be able to calm your fears and lower your anxiety levels by doing the following:

  • First – turn off the TV and stop reading or watching online news reports and social media. Make the conscious decision to limit your exposure to distressing news. Fear is addictive, so know that if you are constantly watching world events, you’ll keep your mind focused on the negative.
  • It is good to keep in mind that news organizations prosper when people are watching and paying attention to what they are saying. If you are keeping an eye on the news right now, you’ll notice that you can hardly find any news about anything except the spread of the virus. Why is that? Because the media is making tons of money on this outbreak, so that’s what they are focusing on. Remember that we live in a safer world than ever before. Experts are working to solve this new virus and the majority of people who contract it will recover.
  • Next, try to detach – again, obsessing about germs and catching the coronavirus will not solve the problem, but it will make you more anxious and upset. Remember that your distress is only yours – worrying that you will catch COVID-19 will not change anything or protect you from getting ill. Instead, try to focus on something else – a hobby, exercise, your loved ones – so you aren’t constantly preoccupied with the news.
  • Take care of yourself by eating nutritious foods, exercising regularly to help relieve stress, and trying to get enough sleep. In addition, meditation can help to calm your mind, as can something as simple as deep, rhythmic breathing.
  • As much as possible, try to continue doing the things you enjoy so that you feel more in control of the world around you. While we are working from home and avoiding public places, we can catch up on the movies we have missed (or watch favorites again), read the books on our list, clean out clutter, or start an online class in something we are interested in (classes can be found on websites such as Udemy). All these things will help to distract from the virus.

It’s also good to remember that fear sucks the pleasure out of everything. Living in fear keeps you from enjoying your life – and it won’t change what happens in the world.

However, you are the only one who can choose whether to focus on the negative or whether you will look for ways to turn this into a “positive”. Be kind to yourself and don’t permit yourself to get wrapped up in negative news stories and worries about COIVD-19.

If, however, you use these ideas and are still stressed and fearful about the coronavirus, it might be time to speak with a professional to discuss more specific steps. Many offices, including ours, now have virtual options available, so that you can speak to someone without having to leave your home.

Virtual Options For Anxiety Treatment

For more information on our virtual (or in-office) help for your anxiety about COVID-19 or for a generalized anxiety disorder, please contact Dr. Andrew Rosen and The Center for Treatment of Anxiety and Mood Disorders in Delray Beach, Florida at 561-496-1094 or email Dr. Rosen and The Center today.

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Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation

Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation: High Tech Help For Treatment Resistant Mood Disorders

Despite therapy and the use of medications, we occasionally find that the effects of a mental health disorder persist in some people. For these individuals, brain stimulation therapies like transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) may provide relief from their symptoms. TMS may also be an alternative for those who cannot tolerate mood stabilizing medications.

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) reports that TMS and other brain stimulation therapies “involve activating or inhibiting the brain directly with electricity.” TMS is the most noninvasive of these treatments and is given via energy pulses that are generated by an electromagnetic coil held near or against the person’s head.

Because these magnetic pulses are given over and over in a repetitive rhythm, the most technically correct term for TMS is repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation (rTMS).

What Is Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation Used For?

In 2008, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation to treat major depressive disorders and their associated cases of severe depression and anxiety. It has also been studied as a therapy for psychosis and researchers are looking into how it may help conditions like post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Additionally, another form of rTMS, called deep transcranial magnetic stimulation (dTMS), has been FDA-approved for the treatment of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).

In 2010, the NIMH funded a clinical trial on the effectiveness of transcranial magnetic stimulation. Initial results showed that the effectiveness of rTMS was around 14 percent compared with a placebo-type procedure, which was only 5 percent effective. However, when participants were put into a second-phase trial, the remission rate of rTMS increased to 30 percent.

How Does A TMS Work?

When you go through a session of rTMS, you will be fully awake. Each session lasts between 40 and 60 minutes and no anesthesia is required. It is an outpatient procedure so you can drive yourself to the appointment and back home again. Typically, a person is treated four to five times per week for between four and six weeks.

During the rTMS session, an electromagnetic coil, which is about the size of your hand, will be passed over your forehead and scalp along the region of the brain thought to regulate mood. This coil produces short electromagnetic pulses similar in strength to the ones generated by a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) machine. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), “The magnetic pulses cause small electrical currents that stimulate nerve cells in the targeted region of the brain.”

As scientists gain more knowledge about how rTMS can help people, they are developing new treatment methods. In fact, the FDA has sanctioned the use of theta burst stimulation, which is a variation of rTMS. In the theta burst procedure, the person only receives transcranial stimulation for about 10 minutes per session, however they still need to have daily sessions for several weeks.

In addition, another form of rTBS, called iTBS or intermittent theta burst stimulation, is now being given in 3 minute treatments. iTBS (also FDA-approved) gives intensive bursts of high frequency stimulation and has shown results comparable to the customary rTMS therapy.

Does TMS Therapy Hurt?

While rTMS therapy doesn’t hurt, the person may feel some mild sensations as the electromagnetic pulses are administered. These sensations might include:

  • A light knocking or a mild tapping feeling on their skull.
  • The muscles in their face, jaw, or scalp tingling when the magnet is applied.
  • These same muscles contracting while the magnet is in use.

Is Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation Safe?

Although most people do very well with it, rTMS does have some temporary, mild side effects for a small number of people. They can include:

  • Mild headaches
  • Lightheadedness
  • Scalp discomfort

Rare, but possible, is the chance of a seizure, however no seizures were reported during the two large studies that have been done on the safety of rTMS, according to the NIMH.

Additionally, Johns Hopkins reports that people who have non-removable metal objects in their head (for example: stents or aneurysm clips) should not receive rTMS. This is because the magnets can cause these objects to move or heat up, which could produce a serious injury or even death.

It’s worth noting that because transcranial magnetic stimulation is relatively new, we haven’t been able to study its long term effects. That said, treatment data has been compiled and studied since the mid-1990s and there have been no long term complications from its use, to date.

We Can Help

If you are struggling with anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns, consider speaking with the professionals at The Center for Treatment of Anxiety and Mood Disorders in Delray Beach, Florida. For more information on how we can help, contact us or call us today at 561-496-1094.

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What Problems Do Adopted Adults Have?

When we think about adopted children, most of us picture a happy family of cooing parents bonding with an adorable infant. For the adult who was adopted as a child, however, this blissful image is often tarnished by issues that carry over from childhood.

What problems do adopted adults have? Among other things, they often suffer from:

  • Feelings of loss and grief
  • Problems with developing an identity
  • Reduced self-esteem and self-confidence
  • Increased risk of substance abuse
  • Higher rates of mental health disorders, such as depression and PTSD.

In fact, Childwelfare.gov reports that, “…most of the literature points to adopted adolescents and adults being more likely to receive counseling than their nonadopted peers (Borders et al., 2000; Miller et al., 2000).”

What Are The Psychological Effects Of Adoption?

Way back in 1982, Silverstein and Kaplan did a study that identified seven core issues in adoption that still hold true today. They are:

  • Loss
  • Rejection
  • Guilt/Shame
  • Grief
  • Identity
  • Intimacy
  • and Mastery/Control

The study reports that, “Many of the issues inherent in the adoption experience converge when the adoptee reaches adolescence. At this time three factors intersect: an acute awareness of the significance of being adopted; a drive toward emancipation; and a biopsychosocial striving toward the development of an integrated identity.”

Loss first comes into the adoptee’s life when they are given up by their birth parents. Although the child is taken into a new family, there is still a sense of loss, even if the child is an infant. We know that it is very beneficial for newborns to bond with their mother – imagine how it can affect a baby who does not make this crucial connection.

Later, as the child matures and finds out they were adopted, that sense of loss becomes a theme running through the person’s subconscious. As such, adopted children typically feel succeeding losses much more deeply than their non-adopted counterparts.

Rejection is part of the initial loss the adoptee experiences. In order to be adopted, they had to be rejected by their birth parents. Later in life, if a birth parent blocks the adoptee’s search for them, the person experiences yet another rejection.

Guilt/shame comes from the adoptee’s feelings of rejection. As we know, children tend to blame themselves when something bad happens, therefore an adopted child naturally questions what they must have done wrong (or what was wrong or “bad” about them) that made their birth parent give them away. Even if the adoptee knows the reason they were placed for adoption, they often still secretly harbor the idea that they were somehow “broken” or could have been a “better” baby, which is why their birth parents rejected them.

Grief is part of adoption because the child lost their birth parents. We see adoption as a joyous occasion for the parents who are adopting the child, therefore the thought is that adopted kids should feel thankful to have a new family. Grieving for what they lost doesn’t usually have a place in the child’s life – it is considered a rejection of the adoptive parents if the child grieves.

Additionally, children sometimes don’t feel the effects of their deep-seated loss until they reach adolescence or adulthood and have developed a high enough cognitive level to understand what the loss means to their life. In many cases, this leads to substance abuse, depression, or aggression.

Identity is another loss the adopted adult must face. While they have been given a new name and identity by their adoptive parents, is it who they truly are? Or are they really the person they were before the adoption?

Even if they fully embrace their new family, the adoptee still suffers a loss of identity because they often know nothing about their birth family. What medical concerns do they need to watch out for (i.e.” does heart disease run in their birth family)? Who are their ancestors? What do they know about inherited genetic ties or family backgrounds?

Intimacy is frequently difficult for the adopted adult because they have such deeply rooted feelings of rejection, guilt or shame, and don’t truly have an identity. Often people who have gone through these negative emotions subconsciously push others away to avoid experiencing another loss.

The Silverstein and Kaplan study notes that, “Many adoptees as teen[s] state that they truly have never felt close to anyone. Some youngsters declare a lifetime emptiness related to a longing for the birth mother they may have never seen.”

Lastly, adoptees often feel little sense of mastery/control over their lives because they had no say in the matter of their adoption. Whether placed with their adoptive family at birth or as an older child, they were not given an option. As they mature, this can result in power struggles with authority figures and a reduced sense of responsibility.

How To Cope With Being Adopted

The first step to coping with being adopted is to recognize that the experience itself leaves residual problems. When the adoptee learns about and acknowledges the core issues inherent to adoption, they can begin to talk about them with someone, such as their adoptive parents, support groups, or a professional.

Accepting and exploring these core issues helps the adoptee work through them. The open adoptions that are the norm nowadays may reduce their sense of loss and guilt, while interacting with other adopted adults can allow the person to feel less alone.

It should be said that, while finding the birth parents can give the adoptee answers and closure, this is a deeply emotional process. Before contacting their birth family, the individual should prepare themselves to experience possible further rejection if a reunion is not what they dreamed it would be (or if the birth parents refuse to meet them once they have been found).

In addition, if an adoptee seeks out a therapist, they should make sure they talk to a professional who has special training in adoption issues.  

We Can Help

If you are an adopted adult and are struggling with your feelings, the mental health professionals at The Center for Treatment of Anxiety and Mood Disorders in Delray Beach, Florida, can help. For more information, contact us or call us today at 561-496-1094.

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